Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Friday, May 28, 2010

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Row, row, row your Bloat......

..........Life is much to sweet to waste your time on shame or guilt.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Dreaded Plateau

I'm a little down today.......

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

My mother's calling...

...it's a damn circus up in this joint.

Video blogs.

Leave me some feedback on the videos. Let me know if you prefer them or the old method. Thanks!!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bella's First Blog.

It's her first time, and she's only one year old. She has an awesome guest star though!

Video Blog: Tip for the Day!!

First attempt at video blogging. I hope you enjoy it!

And remember-you can't not eat!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Your love is my drug.

I saw my 17 year old stepson today for the first time in about three weeks. The first thing he said was, "You've lost a bunch of weight!!!" "So you can tell?", I asked. "Yeah!", he responded laughing a huge grin on his face. I figure if a teenage boy compliments his stepmother, it must mean I'm doing well.
This new attitude seems to be working. I don't have the struggle like I have before. I pretty much eat what I want (with the exception of trigger foods like cookies) and I was down another pound today.
On a lighter note (pun intended) let's talk about Ke$ha. WTF? Let's just ignore the fact that they have to autotune her SPEAKING voice. She looks like someone took a meth head out of a whorehouse alleyway and threw a handful of glitter and dirt in her face. I may be going to way too easy on her. This is Madonna's legacy. She was the first that lowered the bar on talent and substance. So if you take that recipe, put on the back burner and let it simmer for 20 or so years - you get Ke$ha.
Bravo.
Also, my husband and I watched the remake of Last House on the Left. Once you get past the incredibly brutal and sickening rape scene, its actually quite enjoyable. I love it when parents get to be heroes.
So that is all for now. Sorry for going off subject. But that's the way the cookie crumbles (pun intended).
And remember - you can't not eat.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The magic of a good pair of jeans.....

....should not be underestimated. Because today something incredible happened.
I felt good about myself.
More specifically, I felt good about how I looked. That's no small feat at 240lbs. I got dressed, did my hair and makeup and liked....no loved the result.
I felt BEAUTIFUL. I haven't been able to say that for a long time. Too long....
It was worth the wait, and the weight.
There may be something to this "mind/food connection.
So, I wanna' hear about a time when you felt truly beautiful in spite of everything. Post pics, videos, whatever you want. Because it's a good thing to think about. It's good to remember from time to time that you are a beautiful, sensual, Valley of the Dolls, Barbarella goddess in your size 18's from Old Navy.
And remember...you can't not eat.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Such a pretty face..............

Don't you get sick of hearing it?
"You'd be so pretty if you lost weight."
You know what? I'm already pretty. Prettier than your hateful ass.
The question is am I happy?
The answer in the grand sense is a resounding YES! I have two beautiful daughters and an amazing husband. I have a nice home, a nice car, a big screen tv, an Iphone - the works. The only thing I don't like about my life - is ME.
I dont fit.
I'm fat, currently. I have binged and starved, yoyoed up and down since I went on my first diet at age nine. Have you ever seen "Monster's Ball"? You know the scene where Halle Berry slaps her son around and calls him a fat-ass? He manages to make it through the incident to go to the sanctuary of his room to eat a candy bar from his secret stash. It pissed me off. "That never works by the way." I said to my husband. "You can't berate someone into good behavior."
BING!
That's when it hit me, my internal dialogue is no better. I'm very harsh and judgemental, hateful with myself. So I refuse to beat myself up anymore. This is my first step to a healthy weight and possibly even a healthy relationship with food. So this blog is here. It's here to give or get advice, for a shoulder to cry on, for updates, for a place to unload everything you cant say to your Mom or your Spouse or even to yourself. It's also here to make me accountable in a real way to someone besides myself.
So questions, comments, concerns, post 'em here.
And remember - you cant not eat.